New fic: Crazy, Ray/Ray, NC17

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

This is a sequel to Wrong, (and also to Untouched, in a manner of speaking.)

Title: Crazy
Author: Capella
Pairing: RayK/RayV
Rating: Smutty
Beta: the lovely elfscribe5
Notes: Who'd have thought it? After my initial horror at being asked to write Ray/Ray for out_of_con_txt, this appears to be turning into a series, or something.

Crazy

Ray opens his eyes to watery grey daylight and shuts them again right away. His mouth feels like it's full of stale fur and the bed's uncomfortably warm. His stomach muscles clench as his brain catches up with the fact that the weight pressing into his side is an arm, Vecchio's arm, and Vecchio's hand is splayed over his chest, fingers curling slightly into his ribs.

Oh shit. How the fuck did he let this happen?

The first part of the evening is still pretty clear in his mind: dressing up for the club, the weirdness of dancing with Vecchio, the drive back and chilling out with a beer. The next part too - the part where they jerked each other off right there in the living room, up against the shelves, then staggered across to the couch, necking and groping like teenagers in some sort of contest, before jerking each other off again as soon as it was humanly possible.

Yeah, he remembers that part alright. Vividly enough that his dick's getting hard again and his breathing's going to wake Vecchio if he can't calm it down.

Ray can't even count the months since he last got laid, so there's an excuse of sorts for the urgency of it, even if his choice of partner is completely screwed. It's the rest of it that's fucking with his head, the part where they crawled into bed together like some old couple playing house, and - he rubs one thigh across the other to make sure - and yeah, naked. That's the part that's freaky as hell. Plus, it kind of rules out turning up at the station and never talking about it again, pretending it never happened, which as far as Ray can see is the only sane way forward from here.

Perhaps he can ease himself out from under Vecchio's arm, get himself showered and dressed before Vecchio even surfaces, and they'll still have a chance to salvage it. He tenses up and slides a leg forward carefully.

Ray's luck being as shitty as it is, it's no great surprise that the movement's enough to disturb Vecchio. The hand on his chest twitches, then starts to inch its way downwards, rubbing a little as it goes.

"Hey," Vecchio says. His nose is pressing into Ray's neck just behind the ear, and his breath across the tiny hairs there makes Ray shiver.

Ray's still wondering how the hell to reply when Vecchio's hand reaches his belly and starts circling a bit more firmly.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Ray hisses.

"You don't know? Want me to draw you a diagram?" Vecchio says lazily. His fingers are stroking through Ray's pubic hair, and Ray grabs his wrist to try to stop him.

"Why are you -"

"Why not? You want it, I want it, and Welsh isn't expecting us in till four." Vecchio twists his hand free and starts stroking again. The backs of his knuckles are brushing against Ray's dick, which is already standing up and practically dancing for joy.

"See, that's what I don't get," Ray says, struggling to make his voice work like normal while Vecchio's still touching him. "You can't possibly believe it's that simple."

"We can't put it back in the box, you know," is all Vecchio says.

Ray's hips are moving without his consent, his dick not the only traitor in this team. His breathing's starting to get rough, and yeah, of course he wants it, his body wants it, but that doesn't mean it isn't a mistake.

"I knew you were an asshole, but I hadn't realised you were completely crazy," he spits out, clutching hold of Vecchio's arm again.

"Oh, for Christ's sake, Stanley, don't you ever stop complaining?" Vecchio, who's a lot stronger than he looks at first sight, pulls his hand away and gets a grip on Ray's hip. He shifts on the bed and tugs Ray towards him, and Ray rolls over to find himself leaning, half lying, on Vecchio. He's still processing the fact of Vecchio's warm chest against his back, Vecchio's stiff cock pressed tight between his ass cheeks, when Vecchio grabs him again, no messing about now, and starts to work it.

"Fuck," Ray says. It's not a complaint this time. He's already twisting and pushing into Vecchio's hand, only dimly aware of how good it is to shove back against Vecchio on the off beat, feeling him hot and rigid there as he grunts and thrusts and grinds against Ray's ass. Ray's got one arm trapped underneath himself, but the other's reaching back for Vecchio's leg, pulling him in harder.

When Vecchio tightens his grip the friction's too much and Ray lets out a yelp. Even in the middle of it all, Vecchio seems to get it. There's a pause, then he takes his hand off Ray's dick and brings it up to his face.

There's lube in the drawer by the bed but something's stopping Ray from telling Vecchio that, so instead he takes a moment to get enough fluid in his mouth, then sticks out his tongue and licks Vecchio's palm as wetly as he can. And either the licking itself or the noise Vecchio makes, a strange little moan, is enough to make Ray's entire groin throb. He's already so hard that he's hurting.

Vecchio's hand is back on him at last, and he's changed to a kind of kneading, squeezing motion that feels unbelievably good. When his thumb starts to rub over the tip of Ray's cock, Ray gives up trying to hold back.

"Jesus, oh sweet Jesus, fuck!" Ray's voice is high, like he's about to lose it for real.

"Yeah," Vecchio sounds as if he'd be laughing if he wasn't gasping for air. "Yeah, that's right. Come on."

And Ray does, there's no way he could stop it if he wanted to, he's juddering and twitching against Vecchio and coming like a fucking fountain all over his belly and chest, and yelling out Christ knows what kind of crap while Vecchio holds onto him and murmurs hot, dirty stuff right into his ear.

When it's over, which seems to take forever, Ray grabs the edge of the bed and rolls away from Vecchio. He curls around himself and lies there panting, not even trying to make any sense of it all. It's a while before he realises that the noises from behind him, the soft sound of skin on skin and the quiet, rhythmic grunting, are down to Vecchio getting himself off, and however fucked up this whole thing is, that doesn't seem right. He turns again and gets a hand on Vecchio's leg, runs it up through the black hairs on his thigh to cover his balls, and he's obviously got there just in time. Vecchio groans and goes still, the hand wrapped round his long, dark cock slowing right down, and then he's staring at Ray, just staring with his mouth open in a wordless shout while he comes, messily, and from the look of it painfully hard.

The sight of it does something weird to Ray's belly that he doesn't even want to analyse.

A bit later he notices that he's still got his hand cupped around Vecchio's balls like he owns them, and pulls it away quickly. His skin's starting to itch, the bed's clammy, and the room doesn't smell so good. If Vecchio - Mr. Fastidious himself - has even noticed, he's not bothering to complain.

Ray clears his throat and Vecchio opens his eyes.

"You gotta stop ambushing me," Ray says after a moment. His voice sounds like he smoked a pack of twenty last night.

"You could've stopped me, or got out of bed," Vecchio says.

Ray can't think of a reply that doesn't make him sound weak or stupid or both, so he turns over, shifts to the edge of the bed. "Yeah, well, I'm just gonna-"

He makes his escape to the bathroom, trying not to think about Vecchio watching his naked butt. A couple of minutes later he's back, safely wrapped in a towel and holding a damp washcloth, but Vecchio's already sitting up with his wine-red boxers on, straightening the sleeves of his shirt.

"You want to take a shower?" Ray asks.

"Nah, I'll get one at home. My clothes stink of smoke anyway."

"Well I'm gonna - you need the bathroom first?"

"Give me a minute," Vecchio says, nodding at him on the way past.

They pass again when Vecchio comes out of the bathroom and Ray's heading in, and this time they don't speak at all.

Ray turns the water up as hot as he can bear it and scrubs hard at his skin. It doesn't stop him thinking about Vecchio, about Vecchio's cock jammed up against his ass, pushing, sliding there. He's running soapy hands over his chest and already getting stiff at the thought, and good as it feels it's freaking him out all over again. The groping, the rubbing off, is one thing, not that different from the stuff he did as a teenager; but getting hot over the idea of Vecchio fucking him up the ass? That's a whole other story, and he's really not prepared to go there.

It's not even the principle of getting fucked by another man. God knows he's thought about that before: he thought about it pretty well every day up in Canada, and thought about it so much in that last month that he knew he had to come home before he did something monumentally stupid. But that was different - it was Fraser, and normal rules just don't apply where Fraser's concerned. This is Vecchio, and Ray doesn't have those sorts of feelings for him, isn't even certain that he likes him terribly much. No way is he letting this particular fantasy go any further.

When Ray comes out of the bathroom and smells the coffee, he almost has to revise his opinion of Vecchio. He always keeps some real stuff in the freezer, and Vecchio must have found it, along with the filters at the back of the cupboard. It's enough to get Ray dressed in record time, and he makes do with running his fingers through his hair on the way out of the bedroom. The gel can wait; he's got nothing to prove to Vecchio. There's the wig to look forward to later, anyway.

Vecchio's sitting on the couch reading an old issue of Hot Rod. There's a cup of coffee on the counter top, a spoon and the sugar packet right by it. Ray heaps the sugar in and stirs it while he wanders over to the chair opposite Vecchio.

"Thanks," he says, gesturing with his cup, when Vecchio glances up at him.

"Your kitchen needs some serious work," Vecchio says, and sips his coffee. He's given himself the maple leaf mug that Ray can never use without getting all pathetic. Probably took it because it was the cleanest one on the shelf.

When Ray looks up again, he realises Vecchio's been watching him staring at the mug.

"You should call him, you know," Vecchio says, just as if they're half way through a conversation, "or write, something more than one line on a postcard."

The coffee turns to acid in Ray's mouth, but weirdly, his first instinct is to laugh.

Dear Fraser, I've started dressing as a woman for professional reasons. She's called Rachel and I don't think you'd approve. She wears too much make-up and her hair's a mess. Oh, and by the way, I slept with Vecchio. I'm not sure I like him all that much, but my dick doesn't seem to care.

Yeah. That would work.

"He doesn't write to me any more," Ray says, stupidly. Why the fuck is he even getting into this?

Vecchio shrugs. "He asks about you, every week. How you are, what you've been doing."

This is way too much to process. Ray realises he's been sitting with his mouth open for at least ten seconds before he manages to speak. "What do you tell him?"

"The truth. 'Cos lying to Benny, that's not something you want to be doing."

"Are you going to tell him about this?"

Vecchio smiles, and it looks kind of sad. "I don't think he'd appreciate it," he says.

They stare at each other for a moment, while Ray tries to force his rising nausea back down. "Why'd you tell me, why now?" he says at last.

"I thought you should know." Vecchio's still speaking slowly, like he's aware how important this is. "Look, Kowalski, it'll have to come from you. He'll never push it. He still doesn't think he deserves to be happy."

Ray's pretty certain he can't take any more of this. Vecchio's already ripped him right open, he doesn't have to start poking around in there, too. "Can we please just not talk about it?" he says, knowing that his voice isn't quite steady.

"Well, not talking's what we do best." Vecchio shrugs again and takes another mouthful of coffee.

"What I don't get," Ray says suddenly, needing to end the silence and wanting something back, "I don't get how you - I read your files, I talked to people, and I knew you better than your own mother, and you, you were never -" he can't say it, can't say gay, because he's not even sure that's what this is, but Vecchio understands him anyway.

"Yeah, well," he says slowly, "I'm not the same man now that I was then. I've already broken all the rules."

It's a bit like a punch to the gut, watching that face take shape on Vecchio, like all the big talk, all the confidence has drained out of him and he's letting Ray see just how difficult those two years were. It's not something they ever discuss. Looking into those haunted eyes, Ray doesn't need to hear it spoken.

"Yeah," Ray says quietly, "I get that."

"I know," Vecchio says. He smiles at Ray, and it's another swift and deadly right hook.

Ray stares down into his coffee until it occurs to him that it's cool enough to drink in one go, so he stands up to get himself a refill. "More coffee?" he asks.

"No, I gotta get going, or Ma will be thinking the worst." Vecchio's on his feet too, leaning down to leave the maple leaf mug on the low table and looking around for his jacket.

Vecchio's almost at the door when Ray finally gets himself together and says, "We've got to, you know, put it back in the box. We'd be certifiably fucking crazy not to."

His hand already on the lock, Vecchio turns round. "Yeah, right," he says, and he's grinning like he doesn't believe Ray means it, or maybe he really doesn't care either way. "See you at the station at four."

And just like that Vecchio's gone, and Ray's standing like a moron in the middle of his own living room, wondering how the hell he's going to get his head straight enough to go to work after all that.

This time yesterday he'd thought that his life was fucked up, simply because Welsh was making him wear a dress. Now he's beginning to understand what fucked up really means.

Comments

[raggedass-road.livejournal.com]

Ooh, wow. I hate Ray/Ray. But for this I am making an exception. (This and "Wrong," I just had to have more so I went back and read that too.) I love the characterization here -- Vecchio in particular, he sizzles -- and, god, the way these two interact. Why they're working together, too, the concept makes such good sense it's hard to see things going any other way.

Other thing I'm enjoying is all the implied bits of the story (Stella, Fraser...). They're tantalizing without being confusing, and do a wonderful job fleshing things out.

Great stuff. I hope you keep going with this! By all means, let it turn into a series!

[elementalv.livejournal.com]

These two are so beautifully fucked up together, that I almost want Ray not to call Fraser, despite what Vecchio implied.

Gorgeous characterization.

[mergatrude.livejournal.com]

"What I don't get," Ray says suddenly, needing to end the silence and wanting something back, "I don't get how you - I read your files, I talked to people, and I knew you better than your own mother, and you, you were never -" he can't say it, can't say gay, because he's not even sure that's what this is, but Vecchio understands him anyway.

"Yeah, well," he says slowly, "I'm not the same man now that I was then. I've already broken all the rules."

It's a bit like a punch to the gut, watching that face take shape on Vecchio, like all the big talk, all the confidence has drained out of him and he's letting Ray see just how difficult those two years were. It's not something they ever discuss. Looking into those haunted eyes, Ray doesn't need to hear it spoken.

This is the bit I really love! How they're really connected. Wonderful stuff.

[justbreathe80.livejournal.com]

Darling, your Ray/Ray makes me SO happy, you have no idea. I hope you write much more of this. You totally GET them, and you include Fraser in a way that I just love, that totally respects that Ray still has to deal with that part of his life.

YAY!

[sansets]

Goody! A sequal! *grins* Seriously, this story pretty much sums up for me why I love reading this pair. Dark, snarky, and just so painfully, beautifully human. Both of them were so wonderfully flawed and perfect. Thanks for continuing the story!

(And I am sorry for causing you horror from my out_of_con_txt prompt. *grovels*)

[mickeymvt.livejournal.com]

I adore you for continuing this. The sex is hot, but its the ending that killed me. What with the suggestion to call Fraser- Ray, honey, don't do it, you've got yourself a man, you just need to see it.

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Thank you - this is high praise indeed, and much appreciated!

I hate Ray/Ray.

You know, I thought I did, too, until I started thinking about how to write it. And now it's grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and just will not let go, despite the thousand other more practical things I should be thinking about right now. So, as I say, a series of sorts is in the making. Yikes.

It's wonderful to know that the characterisations are working here, particularly Vecchio, as I was very worried about trying to write him. Thanks again for taking the time to comment.

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Thank you! These two do beautifully fucked up very well, don't they? I started my fanfic career writing pairings who couldn't have what they really wanted, and getting into all that dealing with loss and pain and stuff, then got out of the habit. I'm discovering that it's kind of fun to be back there. ;-)

I almost want Ray not to call Fraser

I'm not so sure that a phone call would make it All Right, anyhow. We shall see...

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm very glad you enjoyed it. I wasn't so sure about Ray/Ray at first, but now I'm very definitely convinced that the connection is really there.

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

your Ray/Ray makes me SO happy

Well, that makes ME pretty damn happy, so thanks! I'm glad there's a willing audience for Ray/Ray as I see them, as I can't seem to get them out of my head, and will no doubt be writing more before too long.

...you include Fraser...

I couldn't see how not to, really, since RayK/Fraser was what got me into DS slash in the first place. The possibilities here, though, are endless!

Thanks again for your kind words.

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Please don't apologise for that initial prompt! I said I'd write anything because I wanted a challenge, and I now I'm into this sequence I haven't felt so enthusiastic about the writing in months, if not years. Ray/Ray has really got under my skin...

I'm very happy that you enjoyed this continuation. Thanks for taking the time to comment. :-)

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

I adore you for continuing this

*Attempts to blush and discovers she's forgotten how to*

Thanks! I'm very glad this worked for you. The ending is the bit that kills me, too - yes, I can now see that these two are extremely hot together, but it's how they got there, and where they're going next, that's the truly interesting part. I am now officially a Ray/Ray addict...

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

This is great. I agree with the above - the sex, that was nice and hot, but really, what makes this a story is what happens afterward, the delicate negotiation of the minefield they've found themselves in and the discussion around the edges of how they got there. The line about 'already broken all the rules' was perfect.

[brooklinegirl.livejournal.com]

this is - as was the last section - brilliantly wonderful. And hot - extraordinarily, fabulously, meltingly hot. You are blowing my mind with this - the genderfuck in the first portion was scorching, but man, just the two of them alone, without any kinks, is amazing.

I love every part of this - the skimming of the previous night's events here:

: dressing up for the club, the weirdness of dancing with Vecchio, the drive back and chilling out with a beer. The next part too - the part where they jerked each other off right there in the living room, up against the shelves, then staggered across to the couch, necking and groping like teenagers in some sort of contest, before jerking each other off again as soon as it was humanly possible

worked perfectly, getting my imagination going in a million ways. The morning sex - Ray rocking back against Vecchio, coming so hard, and having his hand on Vecchio as he comes - god. Just - yes. *fans self*

vecchio's wine-red boxers. Not being able to put this back in the box. Vecchio's easy amusement with the situation, and Ray's vast confusion. Fraser, part of this - in the past, but part of this. And he talks to Vecchio weekly - asks about Ray! God. I love this so, so fucking much.

I really hope you keep going with this, because it's brilliant.

[aerye.livejournal.com]

"Well, not talking's what we do best."

::insert high-pitched squeals of glee::

Y'know, the sex is good here, the sex is really good, yessiree, no question about that -- but where you sunk your hooks into me was with the talking afterwards. Halting. Tentative. The bit about Fraser. Vecchio seeming so calm (and I just know this can't be everything, there's got to be stuff happening beneath the surface there!) Just. Wow. I really like where you're going with this.

More! More!

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Thanks again!

...the delicate negotiation of the minefield they've found themselves in

I can't see any way these two can be together that isn't incredibly complicated. Amazing what happens when you set out to write a short and silly challenge piece, really. I'd love to keep going and going with this, but real life is a bit overwhelming at present. Doesn't stop me dreaming about these two, though...

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

*is overwhelmed*

Thank you so much for this lovely feedback. Really.

I spent some time today reading Hth's Ray/Ray stories, and wondering how I could even have presumed to attempt to write my own. I felt a bit the same when I read your story last week, and I daren't even look at Resonant's take on them... God! The quality of the writing in this fandom is staggering. Luckily it seems to be matched by the generosity of the readers, including the ones who are great writers themselves. (Certainly beats some other fandoms I could mention...)

Anyhow, Ray & Ray are still cavorting around in my head, while Fraser goes about his sad and lonely business in the frozen north (with a Stiff Upper Lip, of course). Looks like another story or few will have to happen, so I'll just come and read this comment a few times when I need to get over my insecurities.

Thank you again. ♥

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much - high pitched squeals of glee = always a good thing!

...where you sunk your hooks into me was with the talking afterwards.

That bit was clear in my head from the moment I started the challenge piece, but I couldn't fit it in there. These two are a writer's goldmine, really, aren't they? It's all so incredibly complicated, and whichever way I look at it there's another bit of backstory or development crying out to be written. (Of course, most of it has probably been done by someone already, but I've been avoiding reading too much Ray/Ray till now, so I'm not sure.) Anyhow, I could really do with locking myself up with Ray & Ray for a while. Damn real life for being so intrusive...

Thanks again for your kind comments. Feeling newly encouraged, I'm heading off to play with the next bit of story.

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

Wonderful voices for both Rays. This is the only way I'll read Kowalski anymore, so I hope you continue writing Ray/Ray.

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

This second part is even better. Love your Vecchio!

[thermidor.livejournal.com]

Great Ray/Ray!

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

hope you continue writing Ray/Ray.

Who'd have thought it? In spite of the many other half-written projects I have knocking around at the moment, the only one I really want to write is indeed Ray/Ray. They have taken over a significant chunk of my mind...

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Love your cute icon.

[nepthys-uk.livejournal.com]

Here via crack_van, and, being a Fraser/RayK fan myself I never thought I would read a Ray/Ray fic and enjoy it, but you have just proved me completely and utterly wrong. Brilliant characterisation, and clever, sparse dialogue - really, really well done!

[tiggymalvern.livejournal.com]

Here via a crack_van rec, and very happy indeed about it :-) Oh, it's lovely to get sucked back into an old fandom by something as delightful as this! The way you write both the Rays, even Stella in the little contemplative piece, and I normally can't stand her, but you make her work through Ray's eyes. Great dialogue and all the subtleties in the gaps between. Really nicely done.

[merelyn.livejournal.com]

Here from the crack_van and ahh, how did I miss this? In recent days, Ray/Ray has somehow become my broken, fucked-up due South OTP, and I adore both of these stories- you've got their characters down perfectly, and hey, the hot, sluttly sex wasn't so bad either. :) Great job!

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I never thought I would write a Ray/Ray fic, as I'm a Fraser/RayK fan just like you. Once I got started, though, it was surprisingly easy to do, and I won't rule out writing a bit more at some later stage, once my muse returns from long-term vacation!

Thanks again for the feedback. I'm glad it worked for you.

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm very happy to have sucked you back into DS, which hasn't yet lost its shininess for me (seeing as how I watched my first ever episode in February of this year.) Ray/Ray was a bit of a surprise when it happened, but I can definitely see it playing out in a few more stories at some stage. Anyway, it's great to hear that these ones worked for you, so thanks again for the feedback.

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the kind words! I can quite understand how Ray/Ray has somehow become your broken, fucked-up due South OTP - I wouldn't have touched anything other than F/K with a bargepole before I started working on these stories, but rapidly became completely obsessed with the pairing and would probably still be writing them if I hadn't had a major RL upheaval and lost my muse entirely. I can't rule it out in the future, though.

[tiggymalvern.livejournal.com]

I'd certainly love it if you did write more of them at some point, if encouragement helps at all :-)

[snarkyducky.livejournal.com]

wow.. there's nothing i can add to what everyone else above has already said..

i especially love how you handled the absence of Fraser in this story. i mean, Wrong was excellent, but with Crazy you've made the arc perfect. it's delicate and real, and it's not frequent to find a story where all F,K,and V are all both strong and fragile, and entirely likeable..
thank you so much for sharing this!
♥

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

...and thank YOU for the feedback, which is really great to get at this stage when I don't seem to be able to write anything any more and am in need of a bit of encouragement! I'm glad this scenario worked for you. I've never been able to believe the happy-ever-after threesome version of F/K/V, much as I'd like to, but they're just too involved for Ray/Ray to work without Fraser's presence there in some form. I can't help feeling that there's a lot more to this story, which I might even get round to writing at some point.

[cyanne]

I really enjoyed this, love how you show how much both Rays have changed, and how totally messed up everything is, and yet, there's something going between them that might be good. You've got them totally in character.

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Thanks again! This version of this pairing really got inside my head for a while, to the extent that I'm always half intending to come back and write some more. Maybe one day...